A Different Side of Things
by Elosion12
Summary: "Are you going to kill me then?"I panted. He looked...unsure. And I did not want my fate to be in the hands of an unsure vampire. "Well, it depends. It depends on a lot of things, actually. If I've fed recently, who's around, where we are, how easily I can play it off."
1. Chapter 1

The shock set in quickly. I didn't even realize that there was still glass embedded in my elbow until Carlisle was digging through my skin with tweezers.

"Bella, are you alright? Do you feel light-headed at all?" He began to stich up my arm and I briefly felt a stinging sensation but the feeling died swiftly. I nodded dully as Carlisle continued to patch me up on his family's dining room table. "Between the blood loss and trauma, I would imagine you'd be slightly disoriented. If so, just rest and drink plenty of water. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to check on my son."

Carlisle fled the room, leaving Edward and I residing in an awkward silence. I ran my fingers through my hair, a nervous habit I picked up from him, and struggled for words. "Are you alright, Edward?"

He nodded and gave me a half-hearted grin. "Yes, love, I'm just concerned about you." He lifted me from the table bridal-style and sped to his bedroom in the blink of an eye. He carefully positioned me on his couch before taking a seat beside me. "Do you want to go home?"

I bit my lip. I didn't want to leave but if my presence would affect Jasper, more than it already has, I didn't want to stay either. "I'll go for now. I think I've had enough excitement for one birthday." Edward leaned in close for a kiss and captured my lips in his.

His kisses had always been so careful and delicate. This kiss, however, was rough and hungry: the complete opposite of his kisses just a few hours ago. Confused, I pushed him away, he complied. "Edward…what was that?"

His look feigned ignorance but there was a spark in his eye that indicated he wasn't being completely sincere. "What are you talking about, love? I simply kissed you."

"No, you didn't _just_ kiss me; you kissed me like I wasn't made of glass. That never happens, _never_."

He sighed deeply. "Bella, what happened downstairs made me realize that you are too fragile and different to be around our family."

My heart dropped and I suddenly felt nauseous. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that a human doesn't belong with a clan of vampires. This is why‒"

I began to tear up; I knew exactly what he was doing. "It's why you're breaking up with me, I understand. If you could simply give me a ride home, I'll be out of your hair for good."

I stood and started toward the door but Edward was in front of me in an instant and as I looked to him with tears in my eyes, his simply looked hurt. "Love, I'm not breaking up with you. I'm offering to give you want you want."

My tears vaporized instantly and I searched my personal Adonis's eyes for any deceptiveness, I saw none. "Edward, do you mean…?" He nodded and I felt my throat go dry. "When?" I whispered.

He whispered back, "Whenever you would like, Bella. Tonight, if you want." His eyes flashed eagerly.

My mind worked for an answer, for a perfect time to be transformed into a vampire. "Not tonight, Edward. I need a few weeks to organize everything and to tell Charlie why I'll be gone for a year. A month from now we'll do it."

Before I could finish my sentence, Alice stormed in. "Oh, Bella, I can't wait to have you join the family!" As she rushed toward me for a hug, I saw Jasper leaning idly by the doorframe.

Her hug brought me back to reality but I couldn't resist looking as Jasper. As I checked him once over for bruises or scratches, his eyes caught mine and time froze. There was much between us that needed to be said; about tonight, about Phoenix, and about me joining the Cullen's. I wanted to speak to him about everything but there was something in his eyes that screamed '_not now_' and I nodded so imperceptibly that I wasn't sure Jasper even noticed. Before I could nod again to be sure he saw it, he retreated in the direction of his and Alice's room.

I tuned back in and realized Alice was explaining how I won't have any excuses to be clumsy as a vampire. "So, Bella, you know what that means don't you?" I shook my head. "You get to wear heels!" She squealed. "So, after you're changed I'll take your measurements and go buy you a new wardrobe!" Before I could protest, like she knew I would, she sped from the room leaving me alone again with her brother.

Edward cleared his throat. "Love, I'm going to go on a hunt. I'll be back soon to take you home if you would still like to leave." I smiled gratefully as he pecked me on the forehead and, in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

I sighed, relieved that I could stop acting like I wasn't absolutely confused by everything that transpired tonight. As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. "Come in," I was expecting Carlisle, or maybe Emmett, but to my surprise, Jasper was the one that entered. "Jasper, what are you doing here?" He offered no answer just closed the door and leaned against it casually as he studied me from head to foot. If not from personal experience, you wouldn't know that a few hours before this man tried to kill me with his bare teeth. His hair was organized and his white flannel shirt was as clean as it was when it came out of the washer.

His evaluations began for a few more minutes before he met my eye. "Are you happy, Bella?"

I didn't miss a beat. "Of course I'm happy, are you?"

He smirked. "That's debatable. The past one hundred and fifty years or so have been fair, at best. I suppose you want to talk about tonight, don't you?" I nodded strongly. "First, why do you want to know? Didn't you experience it for yourself?"

Confused, I simply stared at him. "Well, yes, but everyone tells me your dangerous."

"And?"

"And I don't believe them." He cocked his head at me.

"Why's that, Bella?"

I shrugged. "Sometimes I just get a gut feeling, like something isn't right."

He smirked again, this time his eyes glistened. "Everyone wants to tell you what to do and what's good for you. They don't want you to find your own answers; they want you to believe theirs."

Who was this man? "And you don't?"

He shook his head. "No, Darlin', I don't. I want you to stop gathering information from the outside and start gathering information from the inside."

"Why do you want me to do that?"

"That way you can answer your own question." Before I could ask more questions he began to walk out of the room.

I yelled after him. "Wait, who is 'they'?"

Faintly, I heard him reply, "Everyone."

I was rewarded with a few moments to ponder Jasper's words. He doesn't want me to listen to what others say, including Edward. How can I completely ignore the suggestions from the ones I love? My love returned shortly and he seemed much more content with himself than he did before the hunt.

He returned to sit next to me and as if he _could_ read my mind, he said, "Love, what happened?"

I smiled reassuringly. "Nothing happened. I just had some time to think about how I'm going to tell Charlie." A sigh left my lips as I sat, deep in thought.

"Love; regardless of what you choose, it'll be difficult. I think the most logical option is to say that you were killed in a car accident. I can disappear for a few days before and after the funeral and then we can relocate."

An alarm went off in my mind. This was what Jasper was talking about, people thinking for me as opposed to me thinking for me. "I'll consider it," I told him when in reality I already knew I wasn't going to follow through with the idea.

He proceeded to take me home and give me a tender and passionate kiss goodnight. After retreating to my solitude, I had the gut feeling to open my window. As I opened my window, a sudden gust fell through my room, a gust that could only be created by a supernatural being. "Edward?"

A chuckle came from my rocking chair. "Wrong brother, Darlin'."


	2. Chapter 2

**Dear Readers: Wow, you guys are making me feel really good about this story! 46 views in less than 3 hours? Woo hoo! So as for where this came from, it came from the movie _Peaceful Warrior_ and Socrates and all his crazy wisdom. One day I came home and just said to myself "Hey, what if I put it in a twilight story?" And here you go! I hope all of my readers from all around the world (my fellow Americans, Hawaiians, Scotsmen, Irishmen, Polaks, Native Americans, Koreans, and Czechs out there) and all the other awesome countries enjoy and if you have any questions/comments/concerns feel free to PM me or email me at elosion2012 gmail .com!**

_Previously:_ _He proceeded to take me home and give me a tender and passionate kiss goodnight. After retreating to my solitude, I had the gut feeling to open my window. As I opened my window, a sudden gust fell through my room, a gust that could only be created by a supernatural being. "Edward?"_

_A chuckle came from my rocking chair. "Wrong brother, Darlin'."_

* * *

Startled, I stumbled back, clashing into my bed and complied with the furniture to sit before something bad happened. "Jasper, what makes you think you can come into my room like this? Have you lost your mind?"

His face grew somber. "Sometimes you have to lose your mind before you can come to your senses. Do you understand what I mean now?" I nodded. "Good, now what do you think happened?"

My face scrunched in deep concentration. "I think you were so overwhelmed by Edward's bloodlust for his singer that you attacked." He nodded slowly. "Am I right?"

"Close but no cigar. Think harder, Bella. What happened exactly?"

As I thought through the night and came to the paper cut everything moved in slow motion. First, the smell of my blood polluted the air and then six pair of eyes turns from ocher to black in an instant. Edward's eyes followed the blood as it fell to the carpet and after reading his brother's mind I suppose yelled at an unnatural decibel level "No!" as he shoved me into the table with the cake and presents. Jasper was on Edward in an instant, snapping his jaws inches from my boyfriend's face yet never turning his attention towards me. It was only after Edward appeared behind Jasper the next moment did Jasper look at me. His eyes were empty, wild, but not murderous.

"You weren't trying to attack me." He nodded, encouraging me to continue. "You could feel his bloodlust yet you never wanted to kill me."

He stood at my declaration. "Yes, Bella, it's true I've had more trouble with this diet than my fellow brothers and sisters, but I could never harm you, Bella. You mean everything to our family."

"Then why attack Edward if you weren't trying to get through him to me?"

He sighed. "You'll have to figure that out for yourself because if I tell you, I'm not sure you'll believe me."

I snorted at his mysterious comment. "Try me, please."

"I wasn't the one trying to rip your throat out." Before I could respond, he disappeared and left in the blink of an eye.

The statement floored me. Was it possible that Edward was trying to attack me? To throw me aside for later, for safe keeping until he decided to drink me dry? Panic suddenly pounded through my body, I could hear every heartbeat in my ears, it reminded me of those horror movies where they play the accelerating cadence to mimic a heart. The more I thought about the idea of being sucked dry by Edward, the more I feared it would actually happen. And the more I feared it would actually happen, the more my heart pounded. Soon enough, the Cullen coven would be able to hear my heartbeat from their house.

Coven. I had never called them a coven before because I always considered them a happy family with an additive. However, since this…enlightenment, I can't think of Edward as anything other than a blood-thirsty vampire. How could I prove to myself and to Jasper that Edward was or wasn't planning on murdering me? Could I "accidently" hurt myself? No, Alice would see it coming. What if I tripped and fell in their house? There are a lot of breakable things inside the Cullen's house. As I contemplated my next move, a breeze washed through the room again.

"Edward?" Although I was certain Jasper wouldn't come back, you can never be sure with vampires.

"Of course, love. Who else would fly through your window?" I shrugged. I could see Alice doing it and scolding me on a future fashion sin but then again, I think she's gotten used to my laid-back wardrobe. Edward crossed the room at human speed and sat down beside me on my bed. "Are you alright, Bella? Alice said your future was changing as fast as time."

I shrugged, playing it off. "Just a lot on my mind after tonight. Edward, can I ask you a question?"

He patted my hand encouragingly. "Of course, you can ask me anything, love."

As I took a deep breath to prepare myself for the question, my hands began to shake and I suddenly felt like I was being cooked. "Are you really going to change me? Or are you going to...?"

He looked mostly confused but there was a light in his eyes I did not appreciate. "Or am I going to what? Drink you?" I nodded. "Well, I'm not going to kill you but I am definitely going to appreciate a fine wine when I see it."

Not the answer I had expected. I looked at him, appalled. "What do you mean?"

He gave me that crooked smile that normally soothed my fears but now it just enforced them. "Bella, your blood is so sweet. When James bit you and I had to suck the venom out...you were the sweetest thing I had ever tasted. I wanted to drain you dry but Jasper caught me in the act and persuaded me to stop using his talents. If it weren't for him you'd be dead. I'm glad you aren't because now I get to taste you again and again." He began to creep towards me and I proceeded to scoot backwards until I had pinned myself to the headboard. "Forgive me, love."

He sank his teeth into my upper arm reminding me all too well of the pain James made me endure.


	3. Chapter 3

**Dear Readers: I love constructive criticism, you guys! I'm glad you guys are enjoying my story because I dpn't feel like I'm a very good writer. Any questions, comments, or concerns, PM me!**

* * *

_Previously: He sank his teeth into my upper arm reminding me all too well of the pain James made me endure._

* * *

I screamed loud and hard, hoping Charlie would at least hear and come looking. Unfortunately, Edward silenced me before I could scream for more than a second. Alice had to see this right? There had to be someone coming to save me. He began to drink and I began to feel the fire. He eventually stopped drinking and sucked the venom out of the wound, sealing it without damage with his tongue.

"Bella, I'm sorry it has to hurt so much but you don't want me to be pained, do you?" With as much energy as I could muster, I shook my head. "Exactly. So this is the only way to keep me happy and wait the two weeks that you need to say your goodbyes."

Breathless from being drained, I breathed out a few words. "Are you going to kill me then?"

He looked...unsure. And I did not want my fate to be in the hands of an unsure vampire. "Well, it depends. It depends on a lot of things, actually. If I've fed recently, who's around, where we are, how easily I can play it off. Alice's visions help."

It didn't make sense. If he was planning this, Alice should be seeing it happen. Wouldn't that be suspicious? If Bella's boyfriend is killing her? Or maybe the way he's planning on doing it, it'll look like he's changing me. Shocked, I managed enough energy to reply. "You bastard. You're going to stage my death as an accident."

A terrible smile spread across his face that reminded me all too well of The Grinch's signature smirk. "Very good, Bella! But, as Jasper said earlier at our house: Sometimes you have to lose your mind before you can come to your senses." If I had the fight left in me, I would've tried to run. Or at least jump out my window. "Yes, I was listening intently. I don't like how he talked to you, Bella. How he exposed my secret. Luckily, the other family members were too pre-occupied to notice your 'private' conversation with Jasper."

I smiled briefly, knowing if my next plan worked, it would probably kill me. "I should've fallen in love with Jasper. At least he would've killed me humanely."

I felt his hand connect with my face. It threw me hard enough into my door that it knocked a picture off the wall. Blood gushed down my face. Where it came from? I'm not sure if it came from my face where he hit me or where the door hit the back of my skull.

I laid there like a rag doll, begging him to kill me. "James was more compassionate than this." I mumbled to myself and it earned me a swift kick to the stomach. I heard ribs crack and break and I screamed in agony. How could my father be sleeping through this? Breathing suddenly became more difficult and I wondered if I had a collapsed or punctured lung.

He stooped down so I could see his face. "Don't push me, Bella. I don't want to have to hurt you."

I spat blood on his face as I choked on more of it. "Cause you're doing a fine fucking job of taking care of me." He lifted me up by the neck and cut off my minimal breathing. The room became hazy and the last thing I saw was his shocked face staring into my soul.


	4. Chapter 4

_Previously: I spat blood on his face as I choked on more of it. "Cause you're doing a fine fucking job of taking care of me." He lifted me up by the neck and cut off my minimal breathing. The room became hazy and the last thing I saw was his shocked face staring into my soul._

* * *

All I remember thinking after I woke up was "_Fuck. I'm dead, aren't I?_" No. I was not dead. Me, being the danger magnet that I was, had managed to survive a vampire kicking the shit out of me. Yay. So where was I?

I slowly opened my eyes to a bright light overhead and immediately closed them again, groaning.

"So, you're awake."

I didn't need to look to know who it was. "Jasper, where am I?"

"You're in Denali, Alaska. We couldn't keep you in Forks. Edward broke the treaty."

My head was spinning but I did catch one thing in his sentence. "Treaty? What treaty?"

I felt my bed sag and figured he had perched himself on the edge of it. "When the Cullens came to Forks the first time, the werewolves were there to greet them. The wolves knew what the Cullens were but when Carlisle explained that his family did not drink humans the vampires and werewolves made a treaty. If any Cullen were to bite a living human, willing or not, or cross Quilete land, the treaty was void. The wolves would attack the vampires and let the humans know of our existence. If that happens, we then upset the Volturi, they govern the vampire world. If any vampire tells a human of their existence, the vampire or coven would be eliminated."

So. Much. Information. My head was still fuzzy on the events of last night. Was it last night? "Jasper, how long was I out?" I finally opened my eyes as they adjusted to the bright light overhead and found Jasper studying me again.

He looked away and began to study the wall, seemingly uninterested in my questions. "About four days. Carlisle wanted to keep you in medicine induced coma for another day or two but Alice assured him you would be fine. Aren't you interested in what happened to your 'beloved?'" Still staring at the wall, uninterested, he looked like a statue.

I shrugged, I wasn't sure how I felt about what happened. "Yes...no...I don't know, maybe? I'm really confused right now. That wasn't my Edward that night. He was insane. I could see it in his eyes. He told me how he manipulated the family and all of your talents to help him." I became choked up thinking about it. "He even told me he was going to stage my death to look like he lost control while changing me." Tears rolled down my cheeks, they felt warm and friendly unlike the affection I had known recently. "Jasper, what happened to him?"

As I looked to him for an answer, for a sign that the love of my life wasn't completely insane, he closed his eyes and began to speak. "If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your problem. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality. That is everyone's problem. Includin' Edward's."

I expected a simple answer like: "Everything's going to be okay" but instead I got a philosophy lecture. "What?"

He rolled his eyes at my question, as if a two year old could understand what he was saying. "You will always suffer because you can never hold anything forever. It's how life works. Change is definite. Even for vampires that never change in the sense of aging."

I groaned and there was suddenly a throbbing in my skull. "Jasper, you're giving me a headache with all this philosophical talk. Can I go to sleep? When I'm not in so much pain, we can sit down and have a steady conversation."

He smirked again and turned to leave. "Alright but I'm going on this note: Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain but they do not create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is. The only problem you have is that your mind is resisting to life as it unfolds before you." He began to walk out the door at human pace when I remembered something.

"Wait, Jasper!" He turned at my call. "What happened to Edward? Is he...?" He knew the unanswered question and shook his head. I sighed in relief.

"Don't be so happy. If you were him, you'd probably ask to be dead." He left the room without another word leaving me with so many unanswered questions but there seemed to be nothing but time ahead of me.

After Jasper left, I began to doodle in a notebook that was left on the bedside table. My doodles ranged from shapes and patterns to flowers and human features. This went on for what seemed like forever. Every day I would wake up to an empty room and begin my drawings when Jasper would bring me breakfast, lunch, and dinner without a word on his part or mine.

His words kept rolling through my head. If Edward wasn't dead, what happened to him? And when did he become so philosophical?


End file.
